The others have not noticed. I am posting without their knowledge or consent. I’ve gone rogue. I’m an unstoppable, terrifying force. I am drunk with power. I am also drunk with beer.
I think it’s super awesome that our plan to use this blog to burn down the internet was so effective.
We didn’t even have to write the blog in order to neutralize the threat.
Take THAT, Fanhouse.
Patty (in Dallas) says:
We tried to get rid of Sydor. But he came back.
I sucked rocks the first ten games. But I came back.
Patty: This coffee Haagen Dazs is so delicious, I’ve decided NOT to marry Schlitzy and marry this ice cream instead.
Schnookie: Schlitzy says, “I got passed over for some ice cream. But I came back.”
Pookie: Someone drew a mustache on a picture of me, but I came back.
Pookie: I’m like, “Dammit! I should have taken that nap!” I didn’t take that nap, but I came back.
Schnookie: I took an AMAZING nap. But I came back.
Patty: I was forced to move into a Schlitz can, but I came back.
Kate: I just realized I’m out of dental floss. But I came back.
Patty: I flunked Comedy 101. But I came back.
Pookie: A co-worker just was really rude to me when I asked if she could access the web when her phone wasn’t working. I want Schlitzy to go over there and tell her, “My internet-based phone stopped working when my internet went out, but I came back.” And then kick her in the shins.
Patty: Some giant hockey player with a resplendent schnozz and wearing a Schlitz can just kicked me in the shins. But I came back.
Pookie: I died of laughter. But I came back.
Patty: “I hit a pole with my car. But I came back.”
Schlitzy: “That’s way tougher than I am!”
Heather: I got arrested for keying Sabres players’ cars. But I came back.
Pookie: I had nothing but popcorn and cupcakes for dinner, but I came back.
Schnookie: I was beaten down deep into the ground by my shitty team. But I came back.
ModFan: We haven’t posted in two months. But we came back.
Welcome to part two of the official 2008/09 ModFan Western Conference Season Preview. Don’t worry, we set a ten word limit for each team, so this will be over soon. You can read the EC season preview here.
Anaheim: Added Brendan Morrison. Good thing Getzlaf and Perry are beasts.
Calgary: Iginla will run circles around his team, yet they’ll fail.
Chicago: Talented young team but I REFUSE them, so zip it.
Colorado: Another season of Forsberg talk? Don’t sign us up.
Columbus: Columbus Blue Jackets? Never heard of ‘em.
Dallas: Maybe Chicago will distract Detroit and they can sidle past.
Detroit: Blah blah blah blah repeat champions blah blah blah blah.
Edmonton: Young talent that could still go either way.
Los Angeles: Meh.
Minnesota: They’re probably not as stifling as people think.
Nashville: Spunky, nasty team but as usual, craziness around them.
Phoenix: Wayne’s sweatervests make it hard to take them seriously.
San Jose: Blockbuster deadline trade who’ll then sign elsewhere next summer. Again.
St. Louis: Paul Kariya and Keith Tkachuk? Say no more.
Vancouver: 1-0, 1-2, 0-1, 1-2, etc. etc….until hockey is dead.