Pittsburgh Penguins vs. Ottawa Senators
Pookie: This gets the top score thanks to Ottawa getting swept. It would have been funnier if popular opinion hadn’t caught up, in the second half of the season, to how bad the Sens actually were after the first five weeks or so of the season. But the “great team or greatest team” hype from those first few weeks remained so fresh in everyone’s minds that this sweep was manna from heaven to bitter fans like myself. 5 pennants out of 5
Katebits: Deeeeelightful. 5 pennants out of 5
Schnookie: My only regret about this series is that it was scheduled so I couldn’t ever watch it. Whose great idea was it to deny Devils fans the opportunity to soak up the Schadenfreude that was the completion of the Sens’ epic collapse? Did the schedulers forget that we lost to the Sens last year, too? Bastards. 4 1/2 out of 5 pennants
Patty (in Dallas): I didn’t get to see much of this one, either, since I was trying to follow the Devils. I know I’m the only one, but I was feeling kind of sorry for Ottawa. I don’t hate them and I felt bad for Spezza and Heatley. I never trust a team that comes screaming out of the gate like that, though. It almost never lasts. I’m happy for Sid, too. 2 pennants out of 5
Heather B: Ottawa re-signed all their free agents to huge contracts, committed to keeping their juggernaut of a top line together, and entered the season with almost the same team that played in the Cup Finals last year. And they still won exactly the same number of playoff games as the Sabres who didn’t qualify to play in the postseason. Well done, Ottawa. That’s a very special kind of collapse. 4 pennants out of 5
Montreal Canadiens vs. Boston Bruins
Pookie: This series was BO-ring! And had the added annoyance of the fact that neither team showed me any reason to love them. Or even just like them more than the other. Or even just care enough to learn the players’ names. I’m also giving the shifty eyes at Habs fans. First it’s stealing “Ole, Ole” from Team Brasil. Then it’s singing “Hey Hey, Na Na, Goodbye” in Game 1 and justifying it by saying “It’s just tradition against Boston.” I’m sorry, but “Hey Hey, Na Na” in Game 1 is NEVER tradition! Finally, it’s rioting after Round 1. Obviously, they’ve got some pacing issues up there. It’s a marathon, kids, not a sprint. 1 pennant out of 5
Katebits:
A game-by-game summary:
G1: Go Habs!
G2: Go Habs!
G3: The Bruins are admirably pesky
G4: The Habs are kinda overrated.
G5: Really, Habs? That’s it?
G6: I don’t need this crap….Go Bruins?
G7: Damnit!
Now I’m lost and confused and I don’t know what to think. -8 pennants out of 5
Schnookie: Whose idea was it to schedule this series so I could see almost all of it? There were not two teams I cared less about in the playoffs than Montreal and Boston, and after seven games, I still don’t care. Note to the Canadiens: if you need seven games to beat the Bruins, you are NOT the juggernaut I’m looking for. 0 pennants out of 5
Patty (in Dallas): Again, the EC series just kind of wander past me. I had very little feeling about this one, but I kind of like Montreal because they wrapped up Mike Ribiero in a pretty bow and gave him to us as a gift. 3 pennants out of 5
Heather B: I love Montreal’s crazy, maniacal crowd. I love the singing, the taunting, the chanting, and as long as there’s no one hurt I even secretly love the rioting after the first round. I think Buffalo’s standards are a little higher at this point but come on. We all know if the Sabres (or Bills) ever win a championship you may as well kiss your family, hug your friends, and dance into the night to celebrate because Buffalo will not be standing by the time the sun comes up. 5 pennants out of 5
Washington Capitals vs. Philadelphia Flyers
Pookie: Game 7 going into OT? That warrants at least an automatic 3 pennant rating. Anything more I cannot say for fear of getting my Devils fan membership card and kit revoked. 4 pennants out of 5
Katebits: I’m just glad it’s over. 5 pennants out of 5
Schnookie: I secretly loved, loved, loved this series. It had awesome hockey, huge momentum shifts, rocking buildings, the Flyers Comcast announcers, and, um… well, as a Devils fan I feel I should stop myself now before publicly admitting that I was happy with the outcome. 5 pennants out of 5
Patty (in Dallas): I’m happy the Flyers moved on. I still like Derian Hatcher (I know, I know) and I was really happy that Joffrey Lupul got a little love. The Oiler fans just roasted him for his one season there and then Hatcher tried to kill him. It’s nice to see he’s okay. 3 pennants out of 5
Heather B: I was cheering for the Flyers and Danny Briere and quite frankly, starting to worry for my safety and sanity but I’m pretty sure it’s going to be a one round fling. I was only using them to get rid of the Caps and Alexander Ovechkin both of whom I found less endearing the more people told me I was supposed to love them which happened a lot. Zip it, Versus. I’ll love who I want! 5 pennants out of 5
New Jersey Devils vs. New York Rangers
Pookie: Let’s just pretend this one never happened, shall we? Thanks. 0 pennants out of 5
Katebits: The Devils are not good at hockey, and the Rangers are not good at not being loathsome. This was just a bad scene. 1 pennant out of 5
Schnookie: This was the single least pleasant playoff series I have ever had the misfortune of suffering through. And the Devils lost, to boot. It was so bad that I’ve been touch-and-go about whether I have the energy left to watch the rest of the playoffs at all. THANKS A LOT, Hockey Gods. I’m going to be emotionally damaged by this one for years to come. -10 billion pennants out of 5
Patty (in Dallas): I hated to see what this series did to Schnookie and Pookie. Poor Devils, struggling against the Rangers. And poor All of the World for having to watch Sean Avery lower our beloved sport to his level. I hope he has a career-ending injury while he’s an intern at Vogue. 0 pennants out of 5
Heather B: I missed a few games in this series but for the record, I can’t think of a single situation where I wouldn’t take Marty Brodeur over Sean Avery. If I need to build a hockey team, I’m taking Brodeur. If I need a date for a boring, dress-up event, I’m taking Brodeur. If I need a babysitter in a pinch, I’m taking Brodeur. If I need someone to help me move, I’m taking Brodeur. In the battle of good vs. evil, I always go with the fatso. 2 pennants out of 5
Hi Mod-ulars! Guess what’s happening at work today? Suits from MSG are visiting. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Really? Tell them more the Chuck the Duck, less Stan.
Off hockey topic, but we’re all kinda hoping Isiah Thomas is part of the group of suits today:
“Yeah, I’m kinda in charge of group sales now…”
“Yeah, I’m kinda in charge of group sales now…”
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think if anyone from MSG visited my workplace, I’d just follow them around, hissing softly at them.
We all know if the Sabres (or Bills) ever win a championship you may as well kiss your family, hug your friends, and dance into the night to celebrate because Buffalo will not be standing by the time the sun comes up.
Oh Heather, truer words were never spoken. I had such glorious plans to be at the Party at the Plaza or at the Arena watching the winning game and then emphatically take part in looting and pillaging downtown Buffalo. On the plus side, some parts of it probably wouldn’t look that different after we were finished celebrating…….oohhhhh SNAP!
I rooted for Marty and Danny too and I’m not at all ashamed to say it. I very much dislike Uvchicken and happier than hell he lost. I guess it still goes back to the cheap hit on Danny B. Yes, I need to rise above and move on but to me, AO is like Chris Neil.
Most of these games are boring to me now. I have good days and bad days as far as missing our boys.
Man, Ariana Huffington is on Bill Maher and her voice is really annoying me. Night, night everyone!
Okay, I’m not going to try to sway you guys into the Habs, BUT there are some cute pictures of their practices in The Montreal Gazette that MIGHT make them a bit more personable. Like the one with Carey Price impersonating Sean Avery. And another one of Begin snapping up Koivu’s helmet for him. I’d post a link, but we know how good I am with that.
And not that I encourage looting in any way, but just like Heather stated, since I was a little girl, my dad has been telling me that SOME day, the Sabres are going to win the Stanley cup. And when they do, we’ll be thankful we live an hour and a half away, so when the city gets leveled, we’ll be safe.
Jesus, I’m late to the party as usual, but I’m stuck in a hotel room with no NHL network on a night with NO hockey. So, I’m going backwards in your blog here…
And Heather, I’m nodding and laughing at your Brodeur vs. Avery take. Avery is a smug little btch of a rock star so I can’t seem to help but hate and love him all in one greasy casserole, but Fatso’s the guy I want to have a beer with and who I’d totally steal from my sister if I had a sister and she was married to him. Hell yeah.