Archive for September, 2008

Welcome to part two of the official 2008/09 ModFan Western Conference Season Preview.  Don’t worry, we set a ten word limit for each team, so this will be over soon.  You can read the EC season preview here.

Anaheim: Added Brendan Morrison. Good thing Getzlaf and Perry are beasts.

Calgary: Iginla will run circles around his team, yet they’ll fail.

Chicago: Talented young team but I REFUSE them, so zip it.

Colorado: Another season of Forsberg talk? Don’t sign us up.

Columbus: Columbus Blue Jackets? Never heard of ’em.

Dallas: Maybe Chicago will distract Detroit and they can sidle past.

Detroit: Blah blah blah blah repeat champions blah blah blah blah.

Edmonton: Young talent that could still go either way.

Los Angeles: Meh.

Minnesota: They’re probably not as stifling as people think.

Nashville: Spunky, nasty team but as usual, craziness around them.

Phoenix: Wayne’s sweatervests make it hard to take them seriously.

San Jose: Blockbuster deadline trade who’ll then sign elsewhere next summer. Again.

St. Louis: Paul Kariya and Keith Tkachuk? Say no more.

Vancouver: 1-0, 1-2, 0-1, 1-2, etc. etc….until hockey is dead.

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Everyone loves a season preview, right? Well….okay, everyone hates a season preview. It’s impossible to predict how the season will go, and the previewer ALWAYS gets it wrong when it comes to your team. Season previews are annoying. The trouble is, no blogger can resist the season preview, and sadly, we here at ModFan are just as weak as everyone else. In order to make our season preview more palatable (tastes like chicken!), we decided to limit our team previews to ten words or less. Our reasoning going into this project was, “They’re going to suck,” is only four words, which leaves six words remaining for, “and their fans are classless buttnuts.” Ten words is plenty.

Without further ado, we present the Official ModFan 2008/09 Eastern Conference Season Preview:

Atlanta: Ilya Kovalchuk is wasted in Atlanta. So sad.

Boston: Sorry. It’s easier to climb Kilimanjaro than win the East.

Buffalo: They might not suck. Eat your Wheaties, Ryan Miller.

Carolina: A classic rebound season. Mark my words.

Florida: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Wait, for real?

Montreal: Is Price the next Roy? No. Happy 100th Season, Montreal!

New Jersey: Holik? Rolston? It’s 1999 again. They didn’t win that year.

New York Islanders: I Just Fucked Up My Hip Again: Part 5 Million

New York Rangers: Since they let Avery go, let’s hope they fail comically.

Ottawa: This season will prove Emery wasn’t the only problem.

Philadelphia: Might actually be pretty good. (Damn.)

Pittsburgh: It’d be pretty fun if they sucked hard. Fingers crossed.

Tampa Bay: Still a circus, just different ringleaders.

Toronto: Their own management says they’re not playoff-bound. We don’t disagree.

Washington: They’re the media darlings these days. They’ll miss the playoffs.

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